I wanted to blog because, well, I feel freedom when I blog. I am on the edge of artsy right now, thinking about all of the things I could create and change to be more me. I am tired of the way things are, like the way my room is arranged. It seems like the only solution though, unless overnight I can get some new furniture. I want to create a new place for people to go and sit and read and drink coffee and use free wireless that doesn't close at 7pm. I want to create a fun place for singles to meet that isn' t highlighted with pressure to get married. I want to create a place for women to be honest with each other and to talk about the real struggles they are going through as a single or a married. I have lots of hopes and dreams, and I know that if none of these things ever happen, I will still have lived a full life because of Christ.
There is a girl sitting across from me reading a Bible and studying something. Earlier three women were in here planning a Chrysalis flight. I went on Chrysalis when I was a freshman in college, it was one of those high spiritual experiences. When I got back to Meredith, it wore off after a couple of days.
Today my roommate told me that she isn't living in our house next year. She thinks it's too expensive and I tend to agree. I just hate the process of moving, it's so much! Not only is it all of my books and things, it's also my furniture (yes, the same furniture I am now wanting to rearrange). So now, I am looking for a roommate for next year, there are a few possibilites but I really just want to trust God with it. He is the one that is going to find the perfect living environment and friendship for me...not me.
I sometimes wonder about life and where we are in the process of living. I was talking with my friend Holden the other day and it seems as if our lives have just begun. I mean, really it is true. We're just on the brink of everything. I mean, really in the next 5 years, I will most likely (Lord willing) get married, maybe change jobs, move a few times, and maybe even have a bun in the oven. Who knows, I'm just glad that I'm not in this alone. That even as a single, I can place my hope fully (1 Peter 1) in Christ, not in marriage, or lots of money, or even new furniture, but Christ alone.
This is really refreshing and freeing, it's also so unknown. There is a lot to trust God with. Especially in the future.
I've been doing this new thing this week, called working out. So far, I like it, it's just that it is...work.
Speaking of work, I've been off work for a week now. It's been good, but I've really actually still been working and meeting with students. Just last week I saw a girl trust Christ with me right in the middle of Starbucks! Ministry is so unpredictable and exciting, I think that's one of the reasons that I love campus ministry. I have been having fun watching God perform miracles on campus, His provision and providence are remarkable, it's like nothing you've ever seen. He provided us with a sound system when we needed it, a new room to meet in, student leaders, and now He's provided us with a vpu (crucial to ministry). I am so amazed by how in big and small ways God provides and wants us to lean completely on Him for His provision.
Today I read a chapter in Blue Like Jazz about money. It was really good, it was about tithing and whats behind doing that. Man, I recommend that book to you! It's so refreshing because it's not written from this "wacko fundamentalist republican" stand point, it's very out of the box and just what I need. Last year, during the election, I was sorta brainwashed by republican propaganda, and I'm not saying that I have any regrets cause really I learned a lot. One thing, that has come about recently is my unwillingness to love other people just as they are. I really just love people that look like me, you know, the ones that are easy to love. Not the ones that are maybe a different race or in a different socio-economic class. I don't love those people. Anyway, I really have been convicted and learning a lot about this. Don Miller, in Blue Like Jazz, writes about how his church, Imago-Dei loves people, and they are growing. What would it look like in our own lives if we just started loving people? I'm going to try it and I'll let you know what happens. I'm pretty sure God's got something huge to teach me.
I think that's enough rambling for now.
12.13.2005
11.24.2005
kelly vs. the grand canyon
Okay, so I just listened to this great sermon by John Piper through a podcast. He talked on John 11 about being thankful for the love of God. He says this, "God's love is His doing whatever needs to be done at whatever cost to Himself or us, so that we will see and be satisfied by Christ forever." (John 14:24) - ultimate satisfaction is seeing Christ.
I think this is so awesome because it really helps to explain a lot to me about God's love, that His motivation is us seeing Christ and therefore Himself for who He really is...not to mention that in so doing He salvages our souls from death.
Piper brought up another interesting point that our American culture seems to drive home...why do we want to be loved by God? For most of us it's because He will make much of us. But yet, really the only way we will ever experience and know the true love of Christ is if we make much of Him forever.
We know that we are all made to know Him - because when we live for praise of self or for that next promotion, we feel dirty - because we are made to live for so much more. Piper uses the parallel that no one goes to the grand canyon saying, "look how important I am" no way...we go to the grand canyon to behold its splendor.
The ONE thing that will satisfy us is the splendor of Jesus Christ.
I'm so thankful and feeling so loved by God. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think this is so awesome because it really helps to explain a lot to me about God's love, that His motivation is us seeing Christ and therefore Himself for who He really is...not to mention that in so doing He salvages our souls from death.
Piper brought up another interesting point that our American culture seems to drive home...why do we want to be loved by God? For most of us it's because He will make much of us. But yet, really the only way we will ever experience and know the true love of Christ is if we make much of Him forever.
We know that we are all made to know Him - because when we live for praise of self or for that next promotion, we feel dirty - because we are made to live for so much more. Piper uses the parallel that no one goes to the grand canyon saying, "look how important I am" no way...we go to the grand canyon to behold its splendor.
The ONE thing that will satisfy us is the splendor of Jesus Christ.
I'm so thankful and feeling so loved by God. Happy Thanksgiving.
11.03.2005
why blog?
You're probably wondering the benefits of the blog. I've come up with a list of some.
1. where else can all 2 billion people in the world read your thoughts?
2. a good way to consolidate links
3. i'm a verbal processor, but sometimes i don't have anyone to process with, like when it's 3 am.
4. meeting random friends in south korea that have a heart for slovakia
5 .google created it
6. it's not as trashy as myspace
7. i'll never be able to track who reads this - who are you?
8. a good way for me to share what God is doing in my life without mass emails
9. let's face it, i just needed one more way to procrastinate
10. staying connected with the many people i know through their blogs or xangas
1. where else can all 2 billion people in the world read your thoughts?
2. a good way to consolidate links
3. i'm a verbal processor, but sometimes i don't have anyone to process with, like when it's 3 am.
4. meeting random friends in south korea that have a heart for slovakia
5 .google created it
6. it's not as trashy as myspace
7. i'll never be able to track who reads this - who are you?
8. a good way for me to share what God is doing in my life without mass emails
9. let's face it, i just needed one more way to procrastinate
10. staying connected with the many people i know through their blogs or xangas
10.30.2005
it's 3am, am i stuck in a matchbox 20 song?
She says baby
It's 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it
-Matchbox 20
well, there's a lot to share about my life recently. i wanted to blog sooner, but it seems as if i never had the chance to really sit down and do it. sometimes life is like that for me.
anyway, not this past week, but the week before on campus, we did spiritual interest surveys. they are great ways to get in an evangelistic conversation in 3 minutes flat. i talked with many on campus at uncw that didn't believe that there was a God, but even now - two weeks later, there is one conversation that really stands out to me. i was with a student involved in our ministry named laura, we were walking and praying that God would lead us to someone that needed to talk. He led us straight to two girls sitting at a picnic table, it was warm out and a big clock overhead displayed the time, for these two girls time is not on their side. we approached them and asked them to help us with the survey, they said they only had about 5 minutes to talk. we promised to keep it at 5 minutes. we sat down, they introduced themselves. fuschia and mimi were there names. laura started with the first question, "do you believe there is a God, and if so, what is He like?" they jolted, "now's not a good time for this, i've been thinking a lot about it." eager to keep the conversation going i asked, "what do you mean, you've been thinking a lot about it." needless to say, we didn't need the survey at all. we entered into one of the most exciting conversations about faith that i've ever been in. my heart broke as fuschia described her life and how she didn't think God could ever be a part of that. she asked me, "do you feel sorry for me because you think i'm going to hell?" all i have to say is, wow. i mean, point blank. the holy spirit in me responded with ease - saying, "i don't know that you will go to hell, one day you might believe in God, besides, why do you care what i think, we're accountable to a Holy God, not a sinful kelly. it was amazing. God softened her heart. I saw this fuschia totally disarmed. mimi on the other hand was a different sort of wild card, she grew up greek orthodox but believed God to be a personal force interacting with us in the world. two seemingly contradictory ideas. i dialogued with her a little about this. at the 10 minute mark, i told them that i wanted to be sensitive to their time and asked if i could get back in touch with them by email to see if they would be willing to talk any more on the subject. they continued to ask questions and i asked more questions. 30 minutes later, we were still talking, i was mainly listening and praying that God would do something in their hearts. evangelism is always win-win. i was really excited about the conversation, knowing that God was totally doing it. this opened my eyes once again for the spiritual needs on campus. i really believe that fuschia and mimi will both one day know the One True God. i gave them the website everyseahawk.com and told them that a lot of their answers could be found there, but to continue the search for Truth.
this past week was a whirlwind, too. it started really hard. staff team conflict on a new level. God was so gracious this week. i've really seen a renewed passion within me for God and His word, i truly praise Him for this! what an amazing thing. one night before i went to bed i was checking my email. i had one from a girl wanting to know the historical and literary context of Habakkuk, i looked it up, sent her the response and then proceeded to read the entire book.
Purpose: To show that God is still in control of the world despite the apparent triumph of evil.
Author: Habakkuk
To whom written: Judah (the southern kingdom) and God's people everywhere
Date written: Between 612 and 588 BC
Setting: Babylon was becoming the dominant world power and Judah would soon feel Babylon's destructive force
Key people: Habakkuk, the Chaldeans (Babylonians)
Key place: Judah
it really stood out to me considering the condition of the world right now, the apparent triumph of evil. knowing that Christ has the ultimate victory is our comfort, but what do we do in the meantime? it seems as if evil lurks around every one of life's corners. so needless to say, staff prayer was alive as we prayed through habbakuk, learning more about how to trust God in the midst of pain and difficulty. i need You. it's a wake up call. it may seem simple, but i'm telling you, once you begin to realize you really can't live this life without the Holy Spirit doing it through you, it's a constant fight. i gave in, and it's the best decision i've ever made.
i've been studying 1 Peter. i am learning so much! i don't even know how to convey it all. God has really been teaching me about how awesome He is. and i don't mean awesome like a cheerleader might use it for a football team, i mean awesome like, i stand in AWE and i don't know how to use any other word to describe what He is doing in my heart. indescribable.
one night, the most random thing happened. i met a girl, teaching esl in south korea who loves the Lord and has a heart for Slovak people. wow, so random. mostly because i found her blog by clicking
friday night was Crusade's halloween party, we did it to invite and get to know nonCr
u people. i think it worked. there were about 50 or so people there. it was a good time, with tyler's sound system.
another really cool thing happened, God really worked in my relationship with Matt, He told me so much of what i needed to know. it feels really good to be in His will. i will seek Him.
more pictures here.
It's 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it
-Matchbox 20
well, there's a lot to share about my life recently. i wanted to blog sooner, but it seems as if i never had the chance to really sit down and do it. sometimes life is like that for me.
anyway, not this past week, but the week before on campus, we did spiritual interest surveys. they are great ways to get in an evangelistic conversation in 3 minutes flat. i talked with many on campus at uncw that didn't believe that there was a God, but even now - two weeks later, there is one conversation that really stands out to me. i was with a student involved in our ministry named laura, we were walking and praying that God would lead us to someone that needed to talk. He led us straight to two girls sitting at a picnic table, it was warm out and a big clock overhead displayed the time, for these two girls time is not on their side. we approached them and asked them to help us with the survey, they said they only had about 5 minutes to talk. we promised to keep it at 5 minutes. we sat down, they introduced themselves. fuschia and mimi were there names. laura started with the first question, "do you believe there is a God, and if so, what is He like?" they jolted, "now's not a good time for this, i've been thinking a lot about it." eager to keep the conversation going i asked, "what do you mean, you've been thinking a lot about it." needless to say, we didn't need the survey at all. we entered into one of the most exciting conversations about faith that i've ever been in. my heart broke as fuschia described her life and how she didn't think God could ever be a part of that. she asked me, "do you feel sorry for me because you think i'm going to hell?" all i have to say is, wow. i mean, point blank. the holy spirit in me responded with ease - saying, "i don't know that you will go to hell, one day you might believe in God, besides, why do you care what i think, we're accountable to a Holy God, not a sinful kelly. it was amazing. God softened her heart. I saw this fuschia totally disarmed. mimi on the other hand was a different sort of wild card, she grew up greek orthodox but believed God to be a personal force interacting with us in the world. two seemingly contradictory ideas. i dialogued with her a little about this. at the 10 minute mark, i told them that i wanted to be sensitive to their time and asked if i could get back in touch with them by email to see if they would be willing to talk any more on the subject. they continued to ask questions and i asked more questions. 30 minutes later, we were still talking, i was mainly listening and praying that God would do something in their hearts. evangelism is always win-win. i was really excited about the conversation, knowing that God was totally doing it. this opened my eyes once again for the spiritual needs on campus. i really believe that fuschia and mimi will both one day know the One True God. i gave them the website everyseahawk.com and told them that a lot of their answers could be found there, but to continue the search for Truth.
this past week was a whirlwind, too. it started really hard. staff team conflict on a new level. God was so gracious this week. i've really seen a renewed passion within me for God and His word, i truly praise Him for this! what an amazing thing. one night before i went to bed i was checking my email. i had one from a girl wanting to know the historical and literary context of Habakkuk, i looked it up, sent her the response and then proceeded to read the entire book.
Purpose: To show that God is still in control of the world despite the apparent triumph of evil.
Author: Habakkuk
To whom written: Judah (the southern kingdom) and God's people everywhere
Date written: Between 612 and 588 BC
Setting: Babylon was becoming the dominant world power and Judah would soon feel Babylon's destructive force
Key people: Habakkuk, the Chaldeans (Babylonians)
Key place: Judah
it really stood out to me considering the condition of the world right now, the apparent triumph of evil. knowing that Christ has the ultimate victory is our comfort, but what do we do in the meantime? it seems as if evil lurks around every one of life's corners. so needless to say, staff prayer was alive as we prayed through habbakuk, learning more about how to trust God in the midst of pain and difficulty. i need You. it's a wake up call. it may seem simple, but i'm telling you, once you begin to realize you really can't live this life without the Holy Spirit doing it through you, it's a constant fight. i gave in, and it's the best decision i've ever made.
i've been studying 1 Peter. i am learning so much! i don't even know how to convey it all. God has really been teaching me about how awesome He is. and i don't mean awesome like a cheerleader might use it for a football team, i mean awesome like, i stand in AWE and i don't know how to use any other word to describe what He is doing in my heart. indescribable.
one night, the most random thing happened. i met a girl, teaching esl in south korea who loves the Lord and has a heart for Slovak people. wow, so random. mostly because i found her blog by clicking
friday night was Crusade's halloween party, we did it to invite and get to know nonCr
u people. i think it worked. there were about 50 or so people there. it was a good time, with tyler's sound system.another really cool thing happened, God really worked in my relationship with Matt, He told me so much of what i needed to know. it feels really good to be in His will. i will seek Him.
more pictures here.
10.06.2005
What matters most...
I'm in process, just like you. I don't claim to have it all figured out, or even a lot of it figured out for that matter. All I know is that God is teaching me in dynamic ways since I've moved here to Wilmington. I guess, it all started with this summer, grounded in the Word and Who the Holy Spirit is, then here - marveling at God, His works, the wonder of His creation - land, sea, and sky (all which can be seen from the town I live) and the Cross, why did Jesus die? Big questions and big hopes of these things have been echoing in the chambers of my heart as I search far and wide to learn more of who God is. I heard it said that the least we can do is to wonder at how big God is. That makes me think...usually people approach that in doubt, but if you approach it in wonder, how big is God? Why does He do what He does? Like send Katrina, and Rita, Philip, and Tammy. Why? It's for His purpose, He will accomplish what He wills.
I'm amazed by God, it's a good place to be, amazement. It's really wide though, and I've found myself in thinking mode - asking "Why" a lot, like a curious 2 year old. But, I wonder at Him, who He is.
I'm reading Blue Like Jazz, which happens to be fabulous. Don Miller is a great writer, I recently finished Searching for God Knows What. Both very good and out of the box. As I am reading through it I think of a list of friends that I want to read it, is that normal? You may very well be one of them.
There's a list of books I want to finish before year's end. So I better get to reading. Good thing I'm on fall break where I can do just that.
Today, I decided with one of my Wilmington friends, Katie, to read and study 1 Peter together. I am so excited about it. It's so great to have friends here. Katie is on staff with Campus Outreach in Minneapolis, which is very similar to Campus Crusade, in that it was born from Campus Crusade to reach smaller campuses in which CCC was not staffing. CO works out of local churches, so in Minneapolis she will be working out of John Piper's church, Bethlehem, and is currently raising her support in Wilmington. It's so good to get to be here with her- and understand what she is going through. Support is so hard.
I love my small group here. It's so fun. I'll try to get a picture of them soon so I can post it.
Trust God in all things. Check out this verse. “ Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal. ”- Isaiah 26:4
I'm amazed by God, it's a good place to be, amazement. It's really wide though, and I've found myself in thinking mode - asking "Why" a lot, like a curious 2 year old. But, I wonder at Him, who He is.
I'm reading Blue Like Jazz, which happens to be fabulous. Don Miller is a great writer, I recently finished Searching for God Knows What. Both very good and out of the box. As I am reading through it I think of a list of friends that I want to read it, is that normal? You may very well be one of them.
There's a list of books I want to finish before year's end. So I better get to reading. Good thing I'm on fall break where I can do just that.
Today, I decided with one of my Wilmington friends, Katie, to read and study 1 Peter together. I am so excited about it. It's so great to have friends here. Katie is on staff with Campus Outreach in Minneapolis, which is very similar to Campus Crusade, in that it was born from Campus Crusade to reach smaller campuses in which CCC was not staffing. CO works out of local churches, so in Minneapolis she will be working out of John Piper's church, Bethlehem, and is currently raising her support in Wilmington. It's so good to get to be here with her- and understand what she is going through. Support is so hard.
I love my small group here. It's so fun. I'll try to get a picture of them soon so I can post it.
Trust God in all things. Check out this verse. “ Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal. ”- Isaiah 26:4
8.22.2005
8.20.2005
first week events
Just wanted to update the blog with the first week events at the dubya. Here's just a few pics I snapped. Paci sa.
8.16.2005
by popular demand...
So, I moved in last weekend to the big dub. It's fun. I have loved getting to know my way around town, I don't even think I've gotten lost too many times. I have a few friends here from Meredith, Leslie, Ashley, and Wallis. Then I met my roommate back in March and we're getting along great!
We kicked off the school year with a pizza party for the students currently involved in Crusade. I'd say about 30 or so people were there, we talked about plans for the new year and prayed for the incoming freshmen.
The next morning at 6:30am we went to campus to help move students into the dorm. That was lots of fun and lots of good hard work, we experienced a terrential downpour which resulted in somewhat translucent pants. Note to self, do not wear khaki linen capri's on a day when there is the slightest chance of rain.
Yesterday we set up some tables in Wagoner (the main dining hall for freshmen) and had surveys and a bike give away for the weekly meeting (must be present to win) pretty clever, indeed.
Afterwords we had ice cream and games at the gazebo, like beach volleyball, once again proving my non-athletic skills. Oh my, I'm ready SRC.
It was so fun, and I really really love every student that I've met so far. People here are so easy to talk to. I love that.
In the midst of all this has been a whirlwind of trying to figure out things with how to deal with distance in a relationship with Mateo. I mean, after all it's not something that you'd think would really be that big of a deal if it's only 2 hours. But I'm telling you, regardless of the distance, there are just somethings to hash through that you may never go through if you are together 24/7. So yes, I'm saying that this is absolutely a great thing. We are learning together how to love each other in distance. (sorry if that was too sappy) One of the main things I have learned is just to communicate, through everything, I've got to let him know when something seems not right or how else is he supposed to know, and vice versa. That is the single most thing that I appreciate about our relationship.
This past Sunday at church I learned a very cool thing, the pastor of pc3 said, "the opposite of faith is not doubt, it's certainty, if you are certain about something then it doesn't take any faith to get through it." The reality of that is freeing and perfect to realize that when my faith is in an soveriegn God who IS in control of everything, I can sit back and let God do His job, not me.
I really loved pc3, perhaps it will be my Wilmington church home.
In short, I love it here, and I'm so excited that God has called me into the campus ministry and here to UNCW. I am really so amazed by His goodness.
We kicked off the school year with a pizza party for the students currently involved in Crusade. I'd say about 30 or so people were there, we talked about plans for the new year and prayed for the incoming freshmen.
The next morning at 6:30am we went to campus to help move students into the dorm. That was lots of fun and lots of good hard work, we experienced a terrential downpour which resulted in somewhat translucent pants. Note to self, do not wear khaki linen capri's on a day when there is the slightest chance of rain.
Yesterday we set up some tables in Wagoner (the main dining hall for freshmen) and had surveys and a bike give away for the weekly meeting (must be present to win) pretty clever, indeed.
Afterwords we had ice cream and games at the gazebo, like beach volleyball, once again proving my non-athletic skills. Oh my, I'm ready SRC.
It was so fun, and I really really love every student that I've met so far. People here are so easy to talk to. I love that.
In the midst of all this has been a whirlwind of trying to figure out things with how to deal with distance in a relationship with Mateo. I mean, after all it's not something that you'd think would really be that big of a deal if it's only 2 hours. But I'm telling you, regardless of the distance, there are just somethings to hash through that you may never go through if you are together 24/7. So yes, I'm saying that this is absolutely a great thing. We are learning together how to love each other in distance. (sorry if that was too sappy) One of the main things I have learned is just to communicate, through everything, I've got to let him know when something seems not right or how else is he supposed to know, and vice versa. That is the single most thing that I appreciate about our relationship.
This past Sunday at church I learned a very cool thing, the pastor of pc3 said, "the opposite of faith is not doubt, it's certainty, if you are certain about something then it doesn't take any faith to get through it." The reality of that is freeing and perfect to realize that when my faith is in an soveriegn God who IS in control of everything, I can sit back and let God do His job, not me.
I really loved pc3, perhaps it will be my Wilmington church home.
In short, I love it here, and I'm so excited that God has called me into the campus ministry and here to UNCW. I am really so amazed by His goodness.
8.05.2005
7.30.2005
7.20.2005
7.17.2005
7.16.2005
longest day ever
Waking up at 5am is never a breeze, unless you went to bed at 5pm the night before. Tha wtould be the only time that I would think it would be anywhere near sanity. Unless you work at the waffle house or starbucks or another respectable breakfast venue.
I caught my 7:20 am flight to Charlotte (a 27 minute flight) then connected to my Denver flight. I missed the shuttle and boy did I miss it. I was just missing the bus on all kinds of things today. When I finally got on the shuttle I was hardly worth a durn, and I say that with the utmost respect to the southern culture. I was worthless. I was trying to make conversation with people on the shuttle, despite my mishaps with trying to transition "where are you travelling from?" to "do you know ultimately to where you will travel?" A new Kennedy question perhaps.
Before the day of the 5am, I was home for two full days back from Daytona. I spent most of that time doing laundry and spending time with Matt. Both were needed and smell good.
Daytona ended well. I feel so great about all that God did in my life and in the lives of those around me this summer. My d-group somehow coined the name, "illusions" but I know for sure that what God did made an eternal impression and will forever impact our lives.
Now that I am in Fort Collins, living it up with the best of the Crusade staff. I am excited to see how I can continue to think outside of the box, thanks to my roommates from this summer... and continue to allow the Lord to stretch me in different areas.
Overall, I am excited about a lifetime of ministry, whether it's on staff with CCC or not. Who knows where the Lord will lead me in the next few years. All I know is that I want to go, wherever He leads.
I caught my 7:20 am flight to Charlotte (a 27 minute flight) then connected to my Denver flight. I missed the shuttle and boy did I miss it. I was just missing the bus on all kinds of things today. When I finally got on the shuttle I was hardly worth a durn, and I say that with the utmost respect to the southern culture. I was worthless. I was trying to make conversation with people on the shuttle, despite my mishaps with trying to transition "where are you travelling from?" to "do you know ultimately to where you will travel?" A new Kennedy question perhaps.
Before the day of the 5am, I was home for two full days back from Daytona. I spent most of that time doing laundry and spending time with Matt. Both were needed and smell good.
Daytona ended well. I feel so great about all that God did in my life and in the lives of those around me this summer. My d-group somehow coined the name, "illusions" but I know for sure that what God did made an eternal impression and will forever impact our lives.
Now that I am in Fort Collins, living it up with the best of the Crusade staff. I am excited to see how I can continue to think outside of the box, thanks to my roommates from this summer... and continue to allow the Lord to stretch me in different areas.
Overall, I am excited about a lifetime of ministry, whether it's on staff with CCC or not. Who knows where the Lord will lead me in the next few years. All I know is that I want to go, wherever He leads.
6.30.2005
SFL
I think it's a concept I am just now beginning to understand. I love that I have felt the freedom this summer to feel it. I thank God for that. I think so many of us in the Chrisitian life walk around as if we have it all together of course we don't, for if we did we wouldn't need Jesus. It speaks of this in Galatians 3, I can't find the other reference I am thinking of. I will get back to you on that one.
Things are great here. I long to hear how Holden's wedding was on Tuesday. I am so sad I wasn't there, but know that being here is right where God wants me, I have to trust in His complete sovereignty.
More later.
Things are great here. I long to hear how Holden's wedding was on Tuesday. I am so sad I wasn't there, but know that being here is right where God wants me, I have to trust in His complete sovereignty.
More later.
6.22.2005
time to update
Things have slowed down a bit. Not that it changes the amount of time I spend in the office, but I do feel like I can catch my breath now. I spoke with my friend Hassie last night for about an hour, the only catch was it was between 2 and 3 in the am. Why did I stay up so late? Today was a great day. I went to the beach and played in the ocean, planned discipleship, met with two of my girls, went on the beach to share our faith, came back in, took a shower, took the project picture, had a ministry team meeting, had dinner at subway, came back to the office to work - and here I am currently, waiting on some memos to be printed.
My relationship with the Lord continues to grow and change, and I feel as if I have made significant progress in understanding the Spirit filled life. It's a tough concept, but really easy at the same time. The great paradox of the Christian life, I guess, is that it's so simple, yet so difficult. All we have to do is accept what Jesus did on the cross for our sins and be grateful and agree with Him that we need Him in our lives, and let Him know - (by faith you have been saved -eph 2:8-9) Yet, it's also really difficult to grasp the fact, that daily we need to submit ourselves to the cross of Christ or else we will live in defeat. That's why there is so much talk about hypocrisy in Christianity. It's not that we're hypocrits, it's that we're open failures, and we're open failures in the world because we are recipients of grace. Therefore, we know that grace abounds when we are forgiven, but we also know that to put it in perspective we are to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do (eph 2:10) not that it sanctifies, but rather it's the definition of Christianity (followers of Christ) and what did Christ do? He loved on the poor and needy, he went where no one else wanted to go, he didn't just preach conversion. I think this realization has been a long time coming as a biproduct of the Methodist church. I needed to realize that social gospel IS necessary because it's the way Jesus lived.
I guess these are all things that are points to ponder and we are all in process and have not arrived. I will probably have these realizations for the rest of my life as I seek to learn more about who God is and what it's like to be sanctified in truth.
Speaking of which, currently I am reading Psalm 119, cause I am determined to make it through. Next, I think I'll start studying the Old Testament, I have only just begun to realize my ignorance in those books.
One other thing I just learned, is the original sin in the Garden was not wanting to be like God, but rather the lie of you will be like God in knowing good from evil, when really man already had free will to choose. At that point, man did not know there was an alternative. Anyway, more on that later and why I believed something else.
So come back for more soon. More theology talk later.
My relationship with the Lord continues to grow and change, and I feel as if I have made significant progress in understanding the Spirit filled life. It's a tough concept, but really easy at the same time. The great paradox of the Christian life, I guess, is that it's so simple, yet so difficult. All we have to do is accept what Jesus did on the cross for our sins and be grateful and agree with Him that we need Him in our lives, and let Him know - (by faith you have been saved -eph 2:8-9) Yet, it's also really difficult to grasp the fact, that daily we need to submit ourselves to the cross of Christ or else we will live in defeat. That's why there is so much talk about hypocrisy in Christianity. It's not that we're hypocrits, it's that we're open failures, and we're open failures in the world because we are recipients of grace. Therefore, we know that grace abounds when we are forgiven, but we also know that to put it in perspective we are to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do (eph 2:10) not that it sanctifies, but rather it's the definition of Christianity (followers of Christ) and what did Christ do? He loved on the poor and needy, he went where no one else wanted to go, he didn't just preach conversion. I think this realization has been a long time coming as a biproduct of the Methodist church. I needed to realize that social gospel IS necessary because it's the way Jesus lived.
I guess these are all things that are points to ponder and we are all in process and have not arrived. I will probably have these realizations for the rest of my life as I seek to learn more about who God is and what it's like to be sanctified in truth.
Speaking of which, currently I am reading Psalm 119, cause I am determined to make it through. Next, I think I'll start studying the Old Testament, I have only just begun to realize my ignorance in those books.
One other thing I just learned, is the original sin in the Garden was not wanting to be like God, but rather the lie of you will be like God in knowing good from evil, when really man already had free will to choose. At that point, man did not know there was an alternative. Anyway, more on that later and why I believed something else.
So come back for more soon. More theology talk later.
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