I wanted to blog because, well, I feel freedom when I blog. I am on the edge of artsy right now, thinking about all of the things I could create and change to be more me. I am tired of the way things are, like the way my room is arranged. It seems like the only solution though, unless overnight I can get some new furniture. I want to create a new place for people to go and sit and read and drink coffee and use free wireless that doesn't close at 7pm. I want to create a fun place for singles to meet that isn' t highlighted with pressure to get married. I want to create a place for women to be honest with each other and to talk about the real struggles they are going through as a single or a married. I have lots of hopes and dreams, and I know that if none of these things ever happen, I will still have lived a full life because of Christ.
There is a girl sitting across from me reading a Bible and studying something. Earlier three women were in here planning a Chrysalis flight. I went on Chrysalis when I was a freshman in college, it was one of those high spiritual experiences. When I got back to Meredith, it wore off after a couple of days.
Today my roommate told me that she isn't living in our house next year. She thinks it's too expensive and I tend to agree. I just hate the process of moving, it's so much! Not only is it all of my books and things, it's also my furniture (yes, the same furniture I am now wanting to rearrange). So now, I am looking for a roommate for next year, there are a few possibilites but I really just want to trust God with it. He is the one that is going to find the perfect living environment and friendship for me...not me.
I sometimes wonder about life and where we are in the process of living. I was talking with my friend Holden the other day and it seems as if our lives have just begun. I mean, really it is true. We're just on the brink of everything. I mean, really in the next 5 years, I will most likely (Lord willing) get married, maybe change jobs, move a few times, and maybe even have a bun in the oven. Who knows, I'm just glad that I'm not in this alone. That even as a single, I can place my hope fully (1 Peter 1) in Christ, not in marriage, or lots of money, or even new furniture, but Christ alone.
This is really refreshing and freeing, it's also so unknown. There is a lot to trust God with. Especially in the future.
I've been doing this new thing this week, called working out. So far, I like it, it's just that it is...work.
Speaking of work, I've been off work for a week now. It's been good, but I've really actually still been working and meeting with students. Just last week I saw a girl trust Christ with me right in the middle of Starbucks! Ministry is so unpredictable and exciting, I think that's one of the reasons that I love campus ministry. I have been having fun watching God perform miracles on campus, His provision and providence are remarkable, it's like nothing you've ever seen. He provided us with a sound system when we needed it, a new room to meet in, student leaders, and now He's provided us with a vpu (crucial to ministry). I am so amazed by how in big and small ways God provides and wants us to lean completely on Him for His provision.
Today I read a chapter in Blue Like Jazz about money. It was really good, it was about tithing and whats behind doing that. Man, I recommend that book to you! It's so refreshing because it's not written from this "wacko fundamentalist republican" stand point, it's very out of the box and just what I need. Last year, during the election, I was sorta brainwashed by republican propaganda, and I'm not saying that I have any regrets cause really I learned a lot. One thing, that has come about recently is my unwillingness to love other people just as they are. I really just love people that look like me, you know, the ones that are easy to love. Not the ones that are maybe a different race or in a different socio-economic class. I don't love those people. Anyway, I really have been convicted and learning a lot about this. Don Miller, in Blue Like Jazz, writes about how his church, Imago-Dei loves people, and they are growing. What would it look like in our own lives if we just started loving people? I'm going to try it and I'll let you know what happens. I'm pretty sure God's got something huge to teach me.
I think that's enough rambling for now.
